The Christmas Heist
by Useful
Summary: Luxord and Xigbar have been to jail loads of times. Is this any exception? Here's a tale on how they go to jail, two days before Christmas.


**A drabble I wrote out of sheer boredom and lack of ideas for my other stories. *shrugs* I love the idea of Luxord and Xigbar going to jail, and this one of the ways they got in jail. **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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><p>Xigbar and Luxord, two members of Organization XIII. Though they are seven numbers apart, they seem to act like lifelong friends and brothers. These two do everything, and a seemingly inseparable when at the Castle. The only time the two are apart is when they get on separate missions, and Saïx knew to rarely separate the two , where were we?<p>

Oh, right, Xigbar and Luxord, and the plan. That's right, Xigbar and Luxord have a plan this week. Though, the plan is a secret, and many who already know what it is will not tell - in fear of their own life. But, the heist-err surprise, it will be something our fellow Organization members will enjoy indeed. Oh, look! Here comes Luxord and Xigbar now, together, like usual.

"Hey there, Roxas!" Xigbar greeted, sauntering up to the blonde, and youngest Organization member.

"Salutations." Luxord nodded a small and formal gesture.

"Oh, hello Xigbar! Salutations, Luxord." Roxas turned around from his spot, noticing the two. "Off to play poker with Hades, I assume? I think Axel is in the Grey Area…"

"N'Awww, not today, Lil' Dude." Xigbar seemed bummed about Hades cancelling their poker game, but he soon recuperated himself. "Actually, Luxord and I have something else in plan. Don't miss us!"

"Cheerio." Luxord followed his friend slowly.

"Okay, Luxord, we have two days before Christmas Eve." Xigbar thought, rubbing his scarred chin. He waved his hand absently, opening a portal to Christmas Town. "Come along."

"With gratification." Luxord followed his friend through, entering the snow covered land. He felt a crunch at his feet as The Gambler of Fate and the Freeshooter trudged through the North Pole.

"I h-h-hate the cold!" Xigbar chattered, hugging himself.

"Mm, I don't mind the wintry air." Luxord remained calm, and his arms remained at his side. "So, do you think after the plan, we'll be able to find something to get everyone? I quite frankly want to give Xaldin some coal, he drank the last of my alcohol from my birthday."

"As if. We'll probably have to improvise a bit, give our favorite members good stuff and the least liked the rest." Xigbar draped a arm over Luxord's shoulder. "We're going to be Santa Clause! We can do whatever we want with the goods."

Luxord gave a small brisk nod, before following his friend to the well lit town. Christmas lights decorated the many buildings, and Christmas tunes echoed through the empty town. _"Dashing through the snow…"_

Xigbar groaned, "let's get this over with." He went to the biggest red house, with smoke billowing from two ends. He knocked on the door, Luxord beside him.

_"Over the fields we go…"_

"Why, hello there! And who are you?" A fat man, wearing red clothing, answered the door. He towered over them, his belly protruding and was very noticeable. His beard was white, and curled along with the hair behind his head. His face was almost as red as his clothing, especially his nose and cheeks.

"We're, your worst nightmare." Luxord drawled slowly, pushing himself into the house.

"As if. We catch anyone who we want to torment. We're nobodies nightmare, and everybody's nightmare. I'm Freeshooter, and this is Gambler. Now, give us your presents." Xigbar growled, poking the fat man known as Santa Clause in the belly with his gun.

"Ho ho ho! Nice prank, those scallywags from Halloween Town. Good one Jack!" Santa laughed good naturally, clapping Luxord on the back.

"We're serious!" Luxord scowled, pushing Santa off.

"Hmm, seriously? Ho ho ho ho!" He laughed again, hugging his belly.

"Gah!" Luxord froze time, walking up to the bag. "Come on Xigbar, I cannot hold time this long." He dragged his frozen friend out the door.

_"Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…"_

Xigbar unfroze once outside. "Woah, dude. A little warning next time!" Xigbar stumbled, catching himself before he slammed into the ground. "Anyways, good job! Now, lets get out of here before the Fat Man raises the-"

_"Oh what fun- WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT. THEFT OF PRESENTS. INTRUDER ALERT."_

"Crap." Xigbar swore, as he and Luxord lifted the bag. No sooner than the alarm was raised, miniature people with pointed ears exited the other houses. A few had tools, and they were raised threateningly at the two Nobodies as they surrounded them.

"Ho ho ho! That'll teach you, boys!" Santa exited his house, laughing. "Elf 666, and Elf 365. Escort these two to their cells."

"Darn, we're going to the brig!" Xigbar and Luxord were shoved and pushed by the other elves, making escape impossible.

"Don't worry, my fellow crony. When we get into our cells, we can portal back to the Castle." Luxord muttered, the bag being taken from his hand.

"As if! They probably have magic protecting the cell. Though, I probably just jinxed us." Xigbar grumbled weakly, as they neared a odd grey building at the back of the town. It was practically falling apart, exposing the two prisoners to the elements. They were shoved in a small cell together, with double bunk wooden beds. Also, there was a small toilet in the corner. "I HAVE RIGHTS! I DEMAND A PHONE CALL!" Xigbar shouted, slamming against the bars of the cell. He watched the retreating elves, glaring with distain. "I SHOULD KNOW TOO! BEEN IN PRISON MORE TIMES THEN YOU ELVES!"

-FIN-

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><p><strong>AN: **I was bored and then the old consversation of Luxord and Xiggy going to jail. So, I wrote this story.


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